Why punks make the best mums

So, you see a dirty kid spanging on the street, or some drunk oog queen flashin’ nips at the bar, and you would never expect them to be a high-caliber parent. Why not? Here’re a few solid reasons why punks make the best mums…

babycritter

  1. Babies with leopard print are pretty much the cutest people in the world. K-Pop queens have nothing on these kids. Seriously.
  2. Being surrounded by irresponsible drunks is great practice when it comes to cleaning up puke, fielding fires & accidents, and getting used to having broken stuff all the time.
  3. Babies don’t have many teeth, and neither do any of your bum friends.
  4. Your roommates are constantly getting high and giggling at The Teletubbies anyway. (Note: Punk Mum does not advocate your kid chilling with high people.)
  5. DIY skills are quite useful when mending clothes, re-sizing, and making toys.
  6. Since you probably don’t have health insurance, you know how to treat minor injuries without going to see a doctor.
  7. Breastfeeding in public isn’t embarrassing or awkward, because you’re already really funny-looking.

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  8. You don’t sleep, you never have, so why start?
  9. Being unemployed without a kid makes you a bum; being unemployed with a kid makes you a stay-at-home parent.
  10. Living in squats, punk houses, and co-ops has accustomed you to lower standards for everyday household cleanliness.
  11. You either know a great stain remover, or don’t care enough to be upset that you don’t.
  12. If your child ends up rebelling against you, it’ll probably be in the form of a good job.
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  1. Moria Nestmann

    I love you. This is brilliant.

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