Why punks make the best mums
So, you see a dirty kid spanging on the street, or some drunk oog queen flashin’ nips at the bar, and you would never expect them to be a high-caliber parent. Why not? Here’re a few solid reasons why punks make the best mums…
- Babies with leopard print are pretty much the cutest people in the world. K-Pop queens have nothing on these kids. Seriously.
- Being surrounded by irresponsible drunks is great practice when it comes to cleaning up puke, fielding fires & accidents, and getting used to having broken stuff all the time.
- Babies don’t have many teeth, and neither do any of your bum friends.
- Your roommates are constantly getting high and giggling at The Teletubbies anyway. (Note: Punk Mum does not advocate your kid chilling with high people.)
- DIY skills are quite useful when mending clothes, re-sizing, and making toys.
- Since you probably don’t have health insurance, you know how to treat minor injuries without going to see a doctor.
- Breastfeeding in public isn’t embarrassing or awkward, because you’re already really funny-looking.
- You don’t sleep, you never have, so why start?
- Being unemployed without a kid makes you a bum; being unemployed with a kid makes you a stay-at-home parent.
- Living in squats, punk houses, and co-ops has accustomed you to lower standards for everyday household cleanliness.
- You either know a great stain remover, or don’t care enough to be upset that you don’t.
- If your child ends up rebelling against you, it’ll probably be in the form of a good job.